I call this "Oversimplification."

And it's not a haiku.

Age 13: I discover the kid who offers me prescription drugs saying, "You could really use some of these," is absolutely correct.
Age 14: I discover a reason to keep living: To get drunk as often as possible!
Age 15: I push anything awful down with Weed, Pills, and, of course, & Liquor.
Age 16: Why not add a little LSD to the mix? When Valium & Weed don't work and Booze gives one blackouts, LSD is a really, really attractive idea. Besides, it's so spiritual, if spirituality means driving down PCH quoting Foreigner's "Blue Monday" verbatim and wondering if the median has people in it.
Age 17 1/2: I quit drinking because I think I want to live and am afraid I won't die if I keep on.
Ages 17 1/2-30: Does that guy/girl/standoffish person of any gender like me? Does my professor hate me? How much do those shoes cost? I need them to go with my cape.
Ages 30-42: Real Contentment doesn't lie in Sex, Shopping, Candy, or Caffeine. But they don't hurt either. At least not most of the time.